Strong Enough- Matthew West (by potterklb221

I just don’t feel strong enough God…….I know that you see something in me that I just can’t see right now………

We can not change the past or the future, however we can our present, the right here and now……..

We all say what if….I can’t…..don’t want to…..and many more negative sayings ……instead of trying to look for a positive…..it seems to be easier to find fault and blame..instead of stepping up to the plate…..

Why is a lie easier to take than the truth……why can’t we believe in ourselves , when we can believe in others…..why do we choose to let someone else bring us down, when we know the truth that is inside of us……..we could go on and on, yet when we hit a stumbling block…..why do we hesitate…..We want doubt others, cause if we did, then we might feel better about ourselves, nothing wrong with that, yet we seem to think there is, to believe in ourselves and what we are feeling, so why don’t we…..Sometimes the wind gets knocked out of our sails, to a point that we feel we are stranded and lost at sea, we feel we will never find wind or land again, yet a day goes by , then  a week, then a month , then a year, and we realize we are still breathing and moving, our eyes seem to see a little clearer , yet our spirit inside is still the same, empty and yet so full, so we keep pushing along, as from the beginning , we can’t change the past or our future, however we can change the hear and now, today, this minute, this second, our life is up to us and WHAT WE choose for it to be,……….so my question still remains….WHY……..

You see I know change…

I see change….

I embody change….

 All we do is change…

Yeah, I know change….

We are born to change…

Sometimes we regard it a metaphor…

It reflects the way it ought to be ..

in fact….

Change takes time

It exceeds all expectations ,Patience ……

It requires both now and then…..

See although the players change…

the song remains the same….

and the truth is….

You gotta have the balls to change……

So I say WHY can’t we change……………….

Donna Marie…..Aka….Ocean…:)

 The inward battle…..against our mind, our wounds and the residues of the past…..is no more terrible than …outward battles…- Swani Sivananda

….No cause to look back….we all should be looking for a better day….there comes a time in our lives when we must stand up for what makes US happy and what makes God happy…..our own happiness should not rely on someone else……..we all should be  walkn’  on sunshine and swimming in the ocean’s free and full of life……

….We should learn to make the changes in our lives that make us happy inside and out….it’s hard to just let life flow….it’s even  harder to allow ourselves that privilege to flow free …….we feel like a brick wall is closing around us and that we can’t get out…when we should be feeling  the opposite….I know harder done then said……however we have to try …it seems so often, we war against sadness as if it were  an unwanted germ, we pine after happiness as if it were some promised Eden, whose gate is keyed to the one secret flaw we need to rectify  in order to fill worthy………

If you are thirsty, you can dip your face to the stream and say, I’ll only drink the hydrogen and not the oxygen……when we remove ingredients…it does not remain …water..it is something else…..we can not drink only of happiness or sorrow  and have life remain life……in simply terms…..you can not take without giving all…..no matter the fall, or rise…..learn to let it FLOW….

It’s like we are divorcing ourselves ……and starting new and fresh….to be who and what we are….when we do this, the moment of inner peace inside of us , is meeting our outer side and releases an electricity of spirit….and we can learn to just let life FLOW…..

Each of us is like a great, untamed sea, obedient to deeper currents that are seldom visible ….our souls are like the deepest patch of ocean that is clear , as the surface wave is just as clear…..we need to be that wave… to wash it way and start anew ….we deal and learn to handle the turbulence of our lives…yet we do not apply this …..when we should be….

Trust in yourself and in God and the rest will follow with a stream that we can flow on…:)

Please listen to the song attached to this blog…..:):):)

I Was Here - Lady Antebellum (Brice Williams) (by SabianVault

)

The devil comes in many forms in our lives, love, family, finances,work, church and in aspects that we would not even fathom……

They say we burn the candle at both ends…..the devil and God play the same roll in our lives…..it’s like  we are children again, playing tug of war….we play this game through out our lives….a never ending war of good verses evil……

God only knows why we struggle, when he is there giving us all the answers………

We usually do not pray for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry it out. On the contrary, most of our prayers were for God to get us out of the mess we made for ourselves……We expect miracles on demand…..the only way out of our troubles, we have made for ourselves is through surrender to the higher power, which is greater than ourselves…..

We seek the knowledge  in our prayers of how we are to greet the circumstances that come our way…….we stop fighting, we surrender our own ideas of how things should be to us in our own minds……we have a choice….we can spend our time fighting to make things come out our way, or we can surrender to God’s will…Peace can be found in accepting the flow of our lives……..

It is in our nature to fight what scares us…..We drown in our own dreams, we swim so hard and fast, we run from a fire we feel is chasing us……we feel if we hold on tight enough to what we think it all should be, then we will be alright, ……when it all comes back to God’s will……..

God gives us all the right to be wrong, to make mistakes, he wants us to be strong in his love and faith…. God made us out of flesh and bone……flesh so that we may bleed as he bleed……bones to break, so that we can learn to be patient and heal……as he did…..

Meaning…….” If you can’t cross over alive, how can you cross over when you’re dead”

D.Marie……aka Ocean…..:)

I have been trying to write this blog now for a week and a half….and things just keep coming and going through my mind…learning life is really short, we only have a one way ticket here, God gives us everything that we need to survive and to make it out here in this world we all call home……

Yet we all seem to forget this, when we should be thinking of it…..

Humility was an idea so foreign to most of us that we ignored it as long as we could…..When we all learned the word “humbly” …we may have figured it meant we had quite a bit of humiliation in store for our lives….Perhaps we choose to look it up in the dictionary , only to become even more confused by it’s meaning…..lowliness and subservience…….I am learning to be truly humble,it does not mean we are the lowest form of life, we are the highest …….God wants it this way….

To be humble does NOT mean we are at our lowest, on the contrary, we  becoming humble means we are attaining a realistic view of ourselves and where we fit in this big ole’ world…..we grow into a state of awareness founded on our acceptance of all aspects of ourselves……we neither deny our good qualities nor over emphasize our faults….

NO one of us will ever attain a state of perfect humility, however we can certainly strive to honestly admit our faults out loud, accept our assets, and rely on our high power……he is our source of strength…..

Humility doesn’t mean we have to crawl life’s path on our hands and knees; it just means we must admit we cannot do this on our own…..

We all have ideas, plans, goals for our lives…..then life hits and we tend to lose sight of these things that we once felt that we were and the things that we dream  of lives becoming……

The mystery - in love, in work, in any moment of our lives- is that, like the dewdrops and the moon, we are briefly ourselves and everything that we believe and stand for……Our essential nature is not changed, only our outlook …….

The lovers and friends that have helped me on this long road called life , have helped me stay alive and be more fully alive…..-all of their love, as big as the sky, fills my heart and yet I try not to become them, yet I try to become more of myself and the things that make me who I am and who I know that I  want to be……

I begin to think about my struggles, not to give myself away….When growing up, I had to check myself at the door like a coat in order to relate to others, often I had to to pretend to be less than I was in order to filled like I was loved…….

For years, I would shelve my light to take care of others and there needs and desires……like a fireman I would drop everything that was I doing to rush to there aid….when I felt no one was rushing to mine, then I learned God was there the whole time holding me up and praising me …….for so long, the choices seemed only to stay open and lose myself or to close up and to cut others off…..however today, while running freely through the streets, close to others but not entangled, I realize I am learning after many attempts that I can stay close ,caring and present, without holding everyone’s anxiety and without going underground…….at least I try…….

……..Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and just try to love the questions themselves………..

…….Be true to yourself and to God and the rest will follow…….he makes this promise to us…now it is up to us to believe in him……D. Marie…..aka…..Ocean…..:)

I wrote this last night………

As I sit here and ponder my thoughts…..

We feel we have been hurt to many times…

then…

We can feel the things that move our souls…….

When we make mistakes, we try to put the blame on someone else, when in reality we are allowing ourselves to lose a little peace in our self preservation……which makes us feel better to put that blame out there……

What are we afraid of ???? 

Are we afraid to be our true selves in front of others,….we are all humans with the same feelings as anyone else, some more than others, some less than others, however still the same…. at that moment when our soul is telling us that this is wrong of us to do, we do not think of this when it is happening, the out come that we have created ….yet we do not hesitate , then we feel lost,empty, we can see our soul in the mirror, we turn our head…..so the voices in our head, may not see what we have done….

We are all sinners and saints …we seem to fight this battle daily ………

We start to see the picture a little clearer, the fog starts to lift……..

Then you look in that mirror, in your soul…..

What are you afraid of ???

We learn we survive the the crash, lived through the burn , we survived the worst ( what we call the worst)…..

When we come out of the fog….

We can breathe better, we can see colors so bright and true….

We can look into the mirror again….

We are lifted up again….

We are stronger  and wiser again……

We are no longer cold, we become warm again…….

We feel no longer afraid…….

We stepped up to the plate…..

God stepped up to the plate, this is all he ask of us……..to step up as he did……

To take the moment and do the right thing……to be true to ourselves and to others…..

What are you afraid of ??????

Just when we think we might be ahead of the game……God gives us a test, to show us what we have learned, and what we have not learned.  Either we are holding our own, or we are not !  The struggles in everyday life, are hard….and we make them even harder over half the time, then every now and again…we surprise ourselves and realize…we got this !!!!!  I feel that I will be learning till the day God calls for me, I am good with that.  Learning to pick my battles in life, learning to embrace the ones that I really do not want to, trying to learn what is trying to be taught  to me, when school ends , life begins, and a whole other book is brought out, the hardest of all, or can we make it the simplest?

Some days we can awake to brightest light shining in on us, then we can awake to the gloomiest of days, however who we are is still the same inside of us, no matter what the day brings to us.  It is up to us to take control of that knowledge of ourselves and our desires, wants , dreams, etc.,

God will give us test everyday, all day long……stand up for what you believe and trust in……let the rest go…… be happy with who you are, and others will do the same….so get ready for your test and I say let’s make A on it…..:) Peace

 We all have them, I believe from the moment we learn what life and love is !!   I know  the bridges that I’ve built and burned…..Have left scars, like bark on a tree,opening up is so hard to do, yet the most simply thing that you can do.  As Albert Einstein said……Insanity : Doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results…….

We trick ourselves in believing that if we just keep trying, things will change, however they do not….you will change, it is up to you if you change for the good , or the bad. If you let it control you, we tend to lose our self preservation in this process of life. Try to deal, try to control the outcome. We have no control, other than ourselves and our actions. It has taken me years to understand this, I find it even harder some days to apply this knowledge to my everyday life. Don’t know if I will ever get it right, don’t know if I want to get it write….the bridges that I have built and burned, have gotten me to here, I like here, it’s new, exciting, scary, all the emotions that I feel make us who we are, who we know we want to be, who we are going to be !!!!! 

As a great friend has told me many times…….I can’t change you, however I can change myself, which changes everything….

We change with every step we take, the what if’s seem to fade into the back ground so the light can shine through ……it is up to us,as how bright that light will shine, I say shine a beacon of light on me and I will bask in the warmth of it…..Life is scary, however just as exciting…….:)

Don’t worry about what if’s….make it real……make it real….we only get one go at this world..make it count…make it shine..:)

Our dreams collect like pollen in the air until the sweat and tears of our living, washes away whatever has not become possible.  Our soft qnarly clumps in our throat of attachment grow out of stone- joy and sorrow alike- until what we feel is Harbor or Release. Like fallen leaves, our memories cover our path until they are remembered out of existence, setting us free.

Often we feel the pain of resisting makes us rust like iron, in order to re-enter the flow of life, we need to be spread back to our original surface. Scary …Right…..

Our feelings, if not released, bread the heart with their grit. Like windows filmed by weather, we wait on loving hands to be rubbed clear ! It is inevitable.

Experience journey lets us come clean to the table of light. Again……….

With heartache and disappointment and the pointless of being a human, which can sicken us if we harbor or it can make us whole if released. Again and again, we, more than any,we as humans have this majestic power to harbor or release and let life happen !!!!!

We are humbly asked to keep the flow real between what is taken in and what is let out!!

We only have to breathe, to remember our place as a human……….Experience in, feelings out……….In this constant tide of waves that I call emotions, life tends to rush in and leaves just as quickly, we must let it roll of our backs……

The …Ocean, is of a spirit that sets us free !!!!!!!!!

One question left for me…………How can you follow the course of your life if you don’t let it flow ??????????